YEEHAWWW - CMA week yall! And other fun happenings.

Hello people.

Recently, I've sort of been all over the place, but gained perspective the other day while out at a bar with some friends. As previously mentioned, I've been trying to move to Japan, but have been unsuccessful in my search for employment (grumble grumble). This has really created a lot of stress because my lease is about to end at my current apartment, and I do NOT want to move back home with my parents. That's just not an option. Sorry mom and dad if you are reading this, but hell no. So if I'm not moving to the land of beer vending machines and anime porn, then I need to find another apartment, ya dig?

I've been pondering upon moving there without employment, and playing the game of "You have 90 days to find a job or your deported." Which, coincidentally, is actually "You have 41 days to find a job because it takes about 7 weeks for visa shit go through." While not impossible to do, neither of those sound very fun. While talking with my good friend, Karl, he gave me some sound, albeit cliche, advice: "Man, where is your heart really at? Here or Japan." I, honestly, didn't even really have to think hard on that - Japan. I need to move to Japan no matter what. And after some confidence boosting/a showering of compliments from Karlton, I'm sure I've made the right decision.

But oh! What is this! The next night, while enjoying at cocktail at Karl's apartment I get...

An e-mail?? From whom! At this time at night!?

Actual re-enactment:
OH SHITTT"



"I GOT MAD JOB OFFERS YALL!" LOLLL


Yeah, so it turns out applying to every position under the fucking sun, actually gets you an interview or two.. or three. One of the recruiting agencies that I sent my resume, cover letter, and plea for employment actually contacted me, and wants to do a Skype interview next week! Mere hours later, I also received an e-mails from two English conversation schools wanting to meet with me as soon as I get to Japan! This came at a really good time because I've been too stressed to sleep properly for the past few days.

So enough about grown-up shit, let's get to what's really fun in life: Booze, friends, and fart jokes.

So Savvy D made it back home yesterday from her weekend at and around Fort Campbell (shout out to Wyatt! do they have internet in the desert??), which means that we had to celebrate, of course. On the way to pick up chase-age and drank from our good friend Toddy, Savannah made me aware of an alarming transformation in my speech. I'm becoming a redneck. Proof as follows:

"Dude, Savannah, I have 2 liters of 'coke' and 'sprite' in my apt; you don't have to--"
"Rick, you know that shit is lemon lime drank and food shitty cola"
"... That's true but --"
"No, I'm not a coke snob or anythin--"
"YES, YOU AAAOOoOORREEEEEEEE"
Savannah flashes me a concerned yet amused expression
"Haha! THAT WAS SO REDNECK - YESS YOU OOOOORRRREEE"

So you get the gist of it. It's all downhill from here. I actually went to Tin Roof last night, and *gasp* had a fun time! Might as well trade in my skinny jeans for fucking over-alls and camo swag. That never goes out of style. Not. God, I hate rednecks and trashy people.

Speaking of that shit, CMA week was last week in my old stomping grounds. I'm sure that was just a hoot. Many people find it surprising that I grew up in Nashville, but never made it out and about in that cluster fuck of hillbillies. This is because my dad forbid me to go into Nashville during CMA week. He knew, early on, the dangers which lurk on the streets of Nash during CMA week. But does it bring in a ton of money to Nashville? Seems so. My local retarded news outlet says about $24 million. I actually friended my local news station on facebook so I could see their hilarious status updates - which are links to the latest "news" around Nashville. Most of them are comparable to the news updates from The Onion - some even funnier because it's actually fucking real.
Exhibit A:


I really am the ultimate troll on NewsChannel5's feed. I'm always talking shit in some capacity. Like I mentioned earlier, Channel5 seems to think that we raised 24 mil for Nashville - they forgot to adjust that figure for how many wealthy tourists we scared away. Oh and the cleaning costs for all the empty beer/liquor bottles, used (broken) condoms, and wounded bums lying around. After all is said and done, Nashville made about $24 dollars. Just enough for a round of Starbucks for mayor Bredesan (sp?) and his crew. Enjoy your fucking lattes.

Whatever, I love wasting money. And on that note, Express for Men's sale is full swing!! Wooohooo! Time to get a bunch of shit that I've been staring out for months! I'm really into those military shirts, you know? Those ones with the strappy shit on the shoulders and the breast-icle pockets? So badass. What doesn't make sense is the name. Do military personnel wear these? Anyway, Express has a fuck ton of them in more colors than you could find in a Skittle bag. I, actually, bought one from Urban Outfitters a while back, but when I put it on, it looked like I was wearing a fucking box around my upper-body, so I sent it back and bought a hoodie. In the summer. Yeah.

Oh man the mall... I was in there recently and decided to pop into GameStop and find some games to pirate. While serenading some little girl in my farts, I came across this little gem:

No way! After Horsez, Dogz, Catz, and AIDz, I never thought they'd keep going! This truly was a fucking joyous find. My jubilation is never-ending. Babyz fucking fashion. There's so much to say but so little actually matters. I'm pretty sure this is the first sign of the swift demise of the gaming industry. The second is all the lame shit being shown at e3 this year, which can all be summed up with this .gif file:

Yeah... That would be some little Asian girl fondling a tiger utilizing the 360's gimmicky Kinect peripheral shit. Wow, that looks like so much fun. At one point in the video the tiger licks the screen and she turns her head, giggling like she's actually being licked. Cool. And on that note, I gotta bounce. Will post again soon with details on employment and random happenings!

Cheers!
NiceGuyjin